Yup! I got engaged to my incredible boyfriend. I never thought this would happen!

I’ve been getting tons of mixed reactions about this… and some of them have been reasons as to why I should be questioning this decision.

First, people have assumed that my fiance is too old for me.. Well to clear things up. He’s 22 and I’m 18. This is legal, and a four year age difference is not a huge deal.

Secondly, people have been saying we’re too young. Well, excuse me for being in love with the person I know I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.. why not start our lives together sooner! And I personally think, yes I am young, but I’m mature. I can handle this. I’m ready for this. And for my fiance - he’s 22, and he’s a grown adult with a future. I’m not trying to grow up fast, or to rush through life, I’m enjoying it at my pace. I see nothing wrong with getting married young.

Third, people have been questioning financial security for our relationship. Well, that’s just none of your business, now is it? And if you must know… my future husband has an incredible job, makes good money, and can provide for our future. He wants to take care of me, and help me through college. He wants to see me succeed and knows we both can together. 

So before you question my relationship and how I go about my life.. please tell me.. have you ever been engaged? 

He pisses me off.

I hate that we don’t have the exact same taste in music.

I hate how sometimes he acts childish.

I hate how he chooses video games over me at times.

I hate that he can’t sing.

I hate that we are so freaking different.

But.

This guy loves me. I love him.

He overlooks my flaws, and understands my past.

He’s caring and protective.

He stuck it out through the times that I hated him and wanted nothing to do with him.

He puts up with my sarcasm, and pain in the butt attitude.

He calls me beautiful, even when I feel hideous.

He has a great personlity and he’s got a smile that makes my heart melt.

I love my boyfreind to pieces.

I can see us, a few years from now..

Married. Having little ones. Being so madly in love.

I’m in love with this guy. My best friend.

Ugh. I hate today. Screw you ED. Why do you attack at the worst times.

Or today was one of those days. I Almost completely lost it. I had to force myself to eat today. Food just seemed like it was making things worse. Just a few hours ago, I found myself in my bathroom, debating whether or not I should shove my fingers down my throat. I didn’t. Im kind of happy I guess, about that. But I still am finding it so hard to move past this. Some days I’m perfectly fine, and I have no negative thoughts about myself. But today wasn’t one of those days. what am I doing so wrong that I keep slipping back? Ugh. I just want to crawl in a hole, and be alone for a long time.

• Remember to wear waterproof mascara on Wednesdays.. I always seem to bawl my eyes out on wednesdays.
• I’m not gonna get any closer to that sixpack if I eat hot cheetos.
• Fake Christian people SUCK.
• Change SUCKS.
• It’s really weird to have a “friend” that you no longer like, but your family still does.
• I don’t know if I’ll remember how to function when my hair gets longer.
• I really hope I have a boyfriend over the summer.
• I’d like to live somewhere else. 
• I think maybe I’ll move to Belize.
• I need jeans. BADLY.
• Miley Cyrus is.. well.. not my favorite person.
• She’s got a hot boyfriend, though.
• My Pastor is probably the coolest person I know.
• I hate that I “can’t” claim edge anymore because I made one stupid mistake when I was 15. Get over it stuck up people.
• I hate seeing my ex-best friend… ANYWHERE.
• I still have huge insecurities.
• I’m working on all of that ^^^^^

stupid analogy but this is the only way it make sense to me. UGH asdfghhkll;dsfgs. MYMIND IS ALL OVER THE PLACE RIGHT NOW. So frustrated with LIFE!!!!

To curl up in a ball with my boyfriend, cry and have him tell me everythings gonna be okay. Then watch Lords of Dogtown and cuddle. But sadly I have no boyfriend. So tumblr and bed it is. But I’ll still probably cry. Ugh. Dumb period. I freakin’ hate being a woman. GO AWAY. assdhsjkfhkjghjflh.

• I’d hold his hand everywhere we went.
• I’m let him play video games, and watch him while I play with his hair.
• I’d cook him his favorite foods, even if it’s stuff I don’t like.
• I’d watch gorey, action-y dude-ish movies with him.
• I’d hang out with him & his friends.
• Have coffee & tea with him.
• Buy him awesome birthday gifts.
• Bake him a cake on his birthday.
• Get along with his family.
• Get a cat together and name it General Greevis.
• Watch star wars, and have light saber fights.
• Dress up as a wookie & an ewok for halloween. 
• Go to church, and hold hands walking in. 
• Go on hiking and camping trips w/ him.
• Make Him happy.

I’ve got a lot of love to give, but the right guy hasn’t come along. Bleh. Patience, young padawan.